Vulnerability and Forgiveness (Chapter Ten)

Posted by tessa on October 27, 1998 at 20:22:28:

In Reply to: Re: Chapter Nine: First Step To Forgiveness posted by mary on October 27, 1998 at 17:28:54:

I wait patiently by the chair clutching the implements I have chosen. Then I hold my dress up as instructed and feel the gentle tug of the ribbons at my knees.
Anticipating what is to come, I momentarily hold my breath. I grip the implements I hold tightly, my knuckles turning white, then slowly I let out my breath, my chest rising and falling with the feeling of exposure.
Swallowing hard I look downward into Sir Darryls eyes as he chides me once more, then I feel the tug on the
drawstring at my waist. The silken material descends gently over my skin and falls at my feet. Wave upon wave of feelings of vulnerability and exposure wash over me.

My face becomes warm and begins to turn red, as I stand before the Headmaster totally exposed. I bite my lip hard and look upward. A fleeting thought rushes through my mind to run from this room. To run from the feelings of vulnerability and embarrassment which wrack my soul. I
hear Sir Darryl instruct me to let down my dress. Upon releasing the material I look down at his face and into the eyes which show kindness and an understanding of the humility I have just felt. Eyes that also show a
reflection of sadness for what now he must do.

I am gently guided over Sir Darryls lap. My dress is lifted and I feel the coolness of the air on my naked bottom which contrasts with the warmth of the hand that he places on the small of my back. I have been over many a knee and been given many a spanking in the past, but always the seconds before the first stinging blow seem like a lifetime, as I anticipate the hand which is as strong and firm as a paddle descending upon my naked bottom. Although I know what the sting will feel like, I can never truly be ready for that first stinging onslaught of warmth that the first blow brings.

Sir Darryl does not spank me very hard, but I still feel the sting and heat spread over my entire bottom. As I close my eyes tightly, I hear echoing in my head Sir Darryls voice: " I am going to take you across my knee, bare your bottom, and give you a sound spanking with my hand. It is to show that you are still my special girl, the one who is so responsive to a simple, over-the-knee hand spanking." My body begins to quiver as I begin to weep. My chest rises and falls with deep sobs. The release of guilt has begun.

And then in no time I find myself leaning far over the desk, my skirt pinned up at my waist as I prepare myself for the paddling that I have just asked for. The paddle does not fall. When I am told to stand, I look at Sir Darryl with questioning eyes. He speaks of the beautiful fall day outside, as I glance toward the open window I still do not know why he has not paddled me. Then I hear the words "It is a shame to spend the entire morning indoor. Therefore, we shall continue your chastisement in the golden shade of the oak tree."

I suddenly feel faint as I try to back away. I look down at Sir Darryl's hand that reaches out and takes hold of my arm preventing me from moving. Tears once again stream down my face as I plead with Sir Darryl not to chastise me in the courtyard. New feelings of shame, vulnerability and the humbling image of public punishment rush over me. I stand motionless as I am told forgiveness cannot be
cheaply gained and am asked if I would disobey Sir Darryl now.

I close my eyes. Then, softly and meekly, I speak: "I will not disobey you Sir." Gently leaning into his arms, I wait to be guided to the courtyard.

Follow Ups:

• With baited ... apparition 09:26:54 10/31/98 (0)